Walking with Death

"Until we meet again; don't know where, don't know when."

Death accompanies us all.  Waiting silently for acceptance.  Not frightening, except for those who fear shadows.  Peaceful.  I'm grateful for those who show me how to transition from the life we know into this unknowable mystery.  So many names and angles of understanding: eternity, resurrection, dust-to-dust, forever, eternal peace, walking with the ancestors.  Death opens the door for so many possibilities.

I love being alive.  Yet, I do not fear death any more than I fear going to sleep at night.  I just don't like the idea of not waking up.  I will miss my husband, my children, the sunshine, the sound of the city moving around me.

Someone once suggested I live each day as if it were my last.  Good advice.  Remembering this not only helps me try to live a decent life today, it keeps me close to death, close to my humanity.  It helps me remember to write that thank you letter to a good friend, so that I don't go without having let her know how much she has meant to me these past 50 years. It helps me show up when it's important, because there may not be a next time.
 
Walking in the valley of the shadow of death -- a peaceful lush valley abounding in magnificence and life. That's where I plan to stroll today.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts during my father's last days.  We will celebrate his life at a memorial service on Saturday.

Joy

On each of the past five days a moment of pure joy has settled upon me.  Like a cloud, or aura, the sensation is one of being completely surrounded in a brilliance and sense of delight.  Not a surface glee, but a profound sense of rightness and peace.  A moment of knowing that, as the old hymn goes, "All is well with my soul."  -- at least for a moment! (smile).  I may go several weeks without this sense of joy in its purity, so this past week is almost joy-overload!

 First, on Wednesday in the late afternoon, the feeling overwhelmed me as Tod, my husband, and I strolled through Hilly Fields, the park near my home. The perfect moment -- safe, loved, loving, comfortable in my own skin, enveloped by God's love, grounded -- Joy.

Thursday, purchasing two kitchen pots, again with Tod -- like newly weds, looking forward to using them for years, finding just the right ones with glass lids, first pots we'd bought new since our cast iron stew pot in Zimbabwe some 18 years ago, grounded, comfortable and enveloped by love -- Joy.

Friday, skyping with my daughter a continent away, grateful, proud, not wanting anything to be different, loving and loved, enveloped indeed -- Joy.

Saturday, sitting at the end of the pier at Clacton on Sea, part of a church excursion to the seaside with 200 other people, sipping tea, watching the waves of the North Sea, sun streaming through grey clouds, present, grounded, safe, enveloped by love -- Joy.

Today, at our local pub, the Brockley Barge, enjoying a late lunch with Tod after church, enjoying the Olympics with other local folk, not wanting to be anywhere else, grateful and grounded, enveloped by love from others and for others, and touched by God -- Joy.