"Ferguson, MO" written and performed by Mandla Gobledale (Ugly Sweaters)

Walking with Death

"Until we meet again; don't know where, don't know when."

Death accompanies us all.  Waiting silently for acceptance.  Not frightening, except for those who fear shadows.  Peaceful.  I'm grateful for those who show me how to transition from the life we know into this unknowable mystery.  So many names and angles of understanding: eternity, resurrection, dust-to-dust, forever, eternal peace, walking with the ancestors.  Death opens the door for so many possibilities.

I love being alive.  Yet, I do not fear death any more than I fear going to sleep at night.  I just don't like the idea of not waking up.  I will miss my husband, my children, the sunshine, the sound of the city moving around me.

Someone once suggested I live each day as if it were my last.  Good advice.  Remembering this not only helps me try to live a decent life today, it keeps me close to death, close to my humanity.  It helps me remember to write that thank you letter to a good friend, so that I don't go without having let her know how much she has meant to me these past 50 years. It helps me show up when it's important, because there may not be a next time.
 
Walking in the valley of the shadow of death -- a peaceful lush valley abounding in magnificence and life. That's where I plan to stroll today.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts during my father's last days.  We will celebrate his life at a memorial service on Saturday.

Saying good-bye to my Father

With my father in hospice care at home with my Mom, my thoughts turn to what it has meant to be his daughter, what he has meant to me. As he peacefully "transitions," to use his term, even now he is teaching me, modelling dying well.

My father once said to me, "The only thing we can give you is our faith."  Not the words I was hoping for from my parents as a worldly and wayward teenager.  But words that mean everything to me today.  Both my brothers and I have followed in our father's footsteps and taken vows as Christian ministers; two of us are married to ministers, and one grandchild is recently ordained. Maybe my father didn't just paint prophets!  His faith, a living faith, compelled him to protest Apartheid in the 1950's, to march against racism and injustice throughout the 60's, to proclaim the horrors of war in the 1970's, and to stand at the Bellingham Friday vigil every week for the past 20 years.  I learned what faith means as I accompanied him in my stroller and later held his hand on Market Street in San Francisco, as he introduced me to the numerous ministers, all in their clerics and regalia, standing up against the corrupt and corroded powers of cities, states and nations.  I am so grateful today for this inheritance, the faith of my Father. 


SoSo, who is my dad?  The one who rides the bright yellow Triking three-wheeler!  Who stands vigil each Friday for 20 years at the Bellingham Federal Building holding up the placard-of-the-week.  Who loves to wear his fire-engine-red Doctor of Religion robe. Who attends weekly Kiwanis lunches because he believes groups committed to helping young people are essential to a healthy society.  Who gives his teenage daughter a pin declaring, "Question authority."  Who, in the 1950's and 1960's, teaches his children that love transcends colour, ethnicity and nationality. Who is fascinated with warriors of history, serves in the military, then witnesses as a Veteran for Peace. Who loves chocolate malt balls and hot caramel popcorn and A&W root beer floats.  Who loves Morgans, movies and solitaire.  Who loves Turner and Brubeck and bagpipes. The man

who paints oversize oils of scary prophets and writes lengthy verse.  The man who is a good friend, steady and true. That's my Dad.

One can list accomplishments and pedigree to describe my father: Methodist Minister in Illinois, California, and Washington, Doctor of Religion from Chicago Theological Seminary, Provost at Central YMCA Community College in Chicago, United Methodist Missionary to Poland and Fiji.   But he is so much more: a minister committed to justice, a student committed to living out his learning, a Provost committed to opening doors and windows for disadvantaged urban students, a missionary excited to be on an adventure.

But most importantly he is a husband who has remained devoted to his wife of 60 years, a loving father supportive of three offspring who have surely challenged his trust, if not his love, over the years.


Thank you Al for being my father.

Al died on Monday 3 March 2014, peacefully at home surrounded by his family.

Bethlehem Unwrapped and exposed...God, forgive us

Boxing Day in London...Christmas lights garland through the Picaddilly Arcade. Love is in the air!  Our happy conversation and light footsteps are arrested by an unusual sight in the courtyard of St James' Church.  But I am ahead of myself...

Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie...

Christmas Day lies behind us.  Christ is born!  

Our reflections at church on Christmas morning remind us that Jesus of the 21st century is being born into a homeless family, an oppressed family, a poor family.  But let us not forget the families in Bethlehem, behind the wall.  Let us not forget 21st century Bethlehem completely, leaving it to fend for itself, abandoning its children to find a way in this dark world of sin on their own.  We have illuminated our festive celebrations with hope and light and joy; let us not forget turning our backs on their fears, darkness and despair.  

Today walking through London, enjoying the decorated arcades along Piccadilly, "Bethlehem Unwrapped" arrests us, interrupts our light conversation, and captures our attention.  This “ installation” by Justin Butler, Geof Thomspon, Dean Willars and Deborah Burton casts a long shadow over the St James' Church courtyard, usually a bustling marketplace. Stark, towering, imposing, boldly and brazenly interjecting Israel’s Separation Wall into the London landscape.  Mandela's words remind those who pause, "We know too well that our freedom is incomplete without the freedom of the Palestinians."

We pause.  We look.  We read.

We have not seen the Separation Wall in Bethlehem except in photos.  I have seen the Berlin Wall -- I remember visiting Checkpoint Charlie in my youth, wondering what life on the other side would be like, the side where people were not so free as me.  We have seen the wall down the middle of the doctor's office in Melmoth, South Africa, in the time of apartheid, separating the waiting room for Black Zulus with its rough wooden benches and posters of snake bites from the waiting room for Whites with its soft couches and piles of magazines.  We have seen images of the wall being erected by our own people in the USA to keep out those who "threaten us" from the south. 

Yet in thy dark streets shineth the everlasting light; the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.

Why are we so afraid of one another?  Someone has written "Wailing Wall" -- We hear God wailing with sadness behind it.  The spire of St James rises above the planks. Can we look high enough above our walls of separation?  Dare we hope that the one God of all creation can be loved in peace?  Dare we allow others to use the names they prefer, the images of their own creation, the stories of their own histories?     

 

Let us boldly proclaim one God – Elohim, Allah, Jehovah, Emmanuel.  God by any other name is still God, the mystery we can never fully know or understand, the power that has transformed our lives, the One that can turn hate into love and can teach us to channel power for good.  Is this so difficult?

No ear may hear His coming,
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him still,
The dear Christ enters in.

O holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us, we pray;
Cast out our sin and enter in,
Be born in us today.

May we remember, in the words of Abraham Lincoln (as written on the wall), "Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"

God, empower us to remember the futility of dividing walls and strengthen us to pull them down, using the timber and stones to build bridges.

Hope Renewed...thank you Mandela!

Today I give thanks for the life and accomplishments of Tata Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, Father of a nation, beloved by the world.

As we listen to the "live" account of his release and first steps into freedom on Sunday 11 February, 1990, we realize we had not joined the world celebrating that morning, for we lived inside South Africa, at Mfanefile, a "black spot" in the hinterlands of today's KwaZulu Natal. News was heavily censored by the government; often large black blocks of ink would remind us of items prohibited to be shared in print; other times the news would just be missing. We relied on family and friends posting us South African news from The New York Times, which we could share in our Zulu-speaking community.

On that global day of joy, we lived in darkness. Our community's hope had been so severely snatched, we had only one more unbelievable rumour to dismiss as we gathered for church. Yes, we had heard President de Klerk had supposedly removed Mandela from Robben Island. Yes, we had heard new rumours that Mandela was to be set free. Yes, we had heard. But none of us believed. Like Doubting Thomas, "until I can thrust my hand into his wounds," until I can see his face. 

And no one knew what Mandela looked like any more, as no image of him had been seen since 6 June 1986, and then it was only a reprint of a 1964 photo printed in The Weekly Mail.  It had been illegal during his imprisonment to publish his photo. So, we wondered, could we even believe any photos the white press cared to release? And in our rural community which received no newspaper deliveries, not even to the local shop, "living proof" would be long in coming.

When a copy of the 11 February newspaper finally arrives at Mfanefile, it makes the rounds to choruses, cheers and dancing. Hope. Hope restored! Hope that one man's first steps into freedom might set the path for the people of the nation to follow, walking together from the darkness into light. Thank you Tata Mandela for leading the way.

Today my prayers are with the people of South Africa, at Mfanefile and throughout the nation. 

(Ah, the wheels of change move slowly; I just typed in Mfanefile, South Africa, to locate this post, and had to resort to the nearby historically white town, Melmoth, as Mfanefile is not recognized as a real place, even though Mfanefile's population is larger, and its history is longer. )

Retreat

Off the grid, out of touch, not available -- a wonderful and important place to be from time to time.  Possible by unplugging and turning off the phones, but something different happens when we go, go to the ends of the earth. I travelled four hours north by train then 20 minutes south by cab, across the causeway during low tide. Some call it a pilgrimage, but just "going" works for me.  And then once arrived, just "being."  Lots of just being.  Rugged up against the cold island winds.  Drawn to the medieval castle rising overhead on the rock mound beside the sea.  Drawn to the glistening tidal beaches, the flocks of birds, the arches of the ruined priory.  Drawn to the ancient liturgy, the holy meal shared as the sunlight washes over each morning landscape.  Drawn back by the priest, her slender frame crooked with age, her voice lilting through the chapel space. Drawn into new friendship -- sharing stories, laughter, being true.  Walks together, noticing the ripples of sand, the smoothness of stone. Retreat -- going, being, and now the returning.  Daily life takes on a slightly different hue.

Parting with a friend -- Death visits

Jeff died.  Two words that hold everything.  Jeff lived.  Ah, two words that hold everything, too.  Jeff breathed and laughed and loved.  Jeff often thought he knew too much, but often did know so much.  Jeff was a good husband, the best kind, the kind that stays, is faithful, and has eyes for no one but the wife he chose 30 some years ago.  Jeff was a good father, the best kind, the kind that models gentleness and courage, that shows his three magnificent sons that yielding the right of way is okay, that sharing a life with your wife is better than expecting her to support only yours.  Jeff was a dynamic teacher, full of passion, full of creative options and alternative ideas, no moss did this rolling stone gather in his classroom.  Clearing out his office we discovered gadgets for measuring the curve of the earth alongside a wooden antelope from Zimbabwe, where we met.  His dreams had been met, yet he had more. Too soon, this death, too soon. His family, his profession, his home, his golf, his squash playing.  All in their proper place.  All relationships well tended and cultivated. "Inspiring" That's the word his students wrote over and over on the tribute sheets taped to his office door.  Inspiring.  Indeed, Jeff, your life has inspired me.  And your friendship has been true. Thank you.